How to adjust relations with favourite if too often quarrel
Unfortunately, conflicts – very frequent phenomenon in a family. Even if partners love the friend-friend, disputes are inevitable. And we will always find an occasion to transform them into quarrel with charges. It is good, if after quarrel there comes reconciliation. Much worse if quarrels become “tradition” in relations also will be a unique occasion to dialogue.
Why so occurs between close people? They appreciate, love, but do not want to listen each other. How to adjust relations? And how to quarrel correctly, not to finish to rupture?
All of us since the childhood we imagine the ideal model of relations. Time comes, and relations develop into a family. Suddenly all appears not so raduzhno. After all there is a merge of two absolutely different characters.
We start to realise that these relations for ever. And not all at once we can accept it. There comes a panic. We try to defend the rights. In our dreams it was not supposed that except the rights duties will come also. And smothering still clearly remembers free life. Then anybody to whom should nothing. Then for both of you there comes the difficult period. It is necessary to look narrowly, get used to each other, and not to lose itself. As a result everyone costs on the, protects the opinion. One instant – here and an occasion. Mutual reproaches fly. The classical phrase – « is born; You me not understand.” And as end – disperse and do not talk.
In the heat of quarrel we tell insulting words. Hardly they would be said in usual day. Charges are often exaggerated or even are far-fetched. During this moment a main point is not how to adjust the relation and as obidnee to touch the partner. And to make it the loved one will not make special work, after all before you. You know it for a long time. All weak places clearly. We not only spend the nerves, but also we offend darling. During this moment we hardly think of consequences, it is simple because we do not know how to quarrel correctly.
Let’s understand. The main claims that the partner does not want to change. Wrongly we think that it of that he does not love us. But you after all have fallen in love with its such. And now love, though know any more the first day. It can not is necessary to change anybody? And suddenly it becomes another? And this another will seem to you another’s and boring?
Quite probably that you have already reconciled and have accepted many features of your partner. But there is an one and only lack which cannot be suffered. Think, unless because of it it is necessary to totally carry your relations. After all long-term habits of the partner will not disappear for couple of days, is simple because you have so wanted. Time and patience is necessary.
If feel imminent conflict, try to calm down. Allow time to cool down to itself and the partner. Postpone finding-out on then. But it is not necessary to hold back is not too correctly and only harms to relations. Simply let itself time and think to solve. Try to formulate without superfluous emotions accurate claims or a problem essence. It is better to write them down on a paper. Let it will be your house instruction ” How to quarrel right.” Have cooled down, have thought and have written upon all, without charges. After that it is already possible to go at the partner and to start to search for the compromise. In due course you on the automatic machine to think, not how to offend the man, and how to adjust relations with it.
The main thing do not forget that it is your darling. You have chosen him. The victory in quarrel will not bring pleasure. Better prove the love affairs and acts is more often, instead of simply speak about it.